Post-Rapture To Do List

1. King Sooper’s.  Candy aisle.  Looting.

2. Ditto soda aisle.

3. Play hide and seek in the abandoned warehouses off the freeway.

4. Competitive Segway drag racing down Colfax.

5. Prior to #4, “acquire” a Segway.

6. Adopt EVERY pet from the abandoned Petsmart.  Except for the snakes.

7. Drive a lightrail train.

8.  Play chicken with an opposing lightrail.

9.  Create a society out of the survivors, with the common purpose of collecting and ingesting all the remaining Mountain Dew in America.  May resort to violence if absolutely necessary, but only in the name of the Dew.

10. Stay overnight in the library, using only candles as sources of light.

11. Collect all the churro carts in the state, and then create an empire based on using churros as currency.  Short term goal: lots of yummy churros.  Long term goal: world dominance!

12. Actually manage to get everyone to agree that churros are a form of currency.

13. Eat cold beans out of a can with only a pocket knife and my grubby little fingers for utensils.  (Every good apocalypse needs a scene like this, yes?)

14. Four words: city wide blanket fort.

15. Shoot some zombies.

16. If no zombies, use an abandoned lab to create some.  Then shoot them.

17. Loot a helicopter, fly to NYC.  Then take a mummy from the Met.  Because that is a WAY better souvenir than a snow globe.

18. Let all the animals lose from the zoo.  We’re gonna need a game supply from somewhere.

19. Keep one of each of the following animals from the zoo: monkey, dolphin, kinkajou.

20. Watch the sunset/sunrise from the top of the tallest building in Denver.

21. Stalk and kill an elephant. Then eat it.  All. 

22.  Ditto above, but with a whale.

23. Scuba dive in the aquarium.

24. Introduce new line of post-apocalyptic clothes, REI meets street urchin from a Dickens novel.  Slogan: Classy yet comfortable, for the discerning survivor.

25. Gather up a bunch of friends and spend some time living in abandoned rides at Disneyland.  With a group rule that everyone must dress/act to match the atmosphere of whichever ride they’re living in.  (Cuz…you know…to preserve the original artistic integrity of Disney and all.)  I think I would alternate living in the Star Wars ride and the Matterhorn.