Dear Netflix,

Dear Netflix,

I want you to know that I'm not cancelling my service (for the time being).  Quite frankly, I'm impressed. Even Shakespeare couldn't write a better comedy of errors.  I may have lost DVD delivery, but the last few emails I've gotten from you have been more than worth it.  Thanks for the laughs!

Love,
Me

The Internet Stole my Productivity

My plan to review next term's textbooks today was completely foiled by my epic discovery of all 9 seasons of Little House on the Prairie online.

Hours later, I still haven't touched the books. But I do happen to have gained a rather advanced knowledge of what Michael Landon looks like without his shirt...

...Learning is fun!

Adventures at Goodwill

Found a semi-cool, semi-gross looking jewelry box at Goodwill.  I used some scrapbook supplies from my mom (thanks, Mom!) and some Mod Podge to fix it up a little bit.  An excessive amount of pictures can be found below:

Original Top

Damage on front and weird/ugly green felt bottom.

Original inside, with a cloth lining that looks
suspiciously like somebody's grandmother's underwear.

New top

New inside, minus the panties.

New front, covered as much damage as I could.

Side

Side

New less gross, non-felt bottom.

Post-Rapture To Do List

1. King Sooper’s.  Candy aisle.  Looting.

2. Ditto soda aisle.

3. Play hide and seek in the abandoned warehouses off the freeway.

4. Competitive Segway drag racing down Colfax.

5. Prior to #4, “acquire” a Segway.

6. Adopt EVERY pet from the abandoned Petsmart.  Except for the snakes.

7. Drive a lightrail train.

8.  Play chicken with an opposing lightrail.

9.  Create a society out of the survivors, with the common purpose of collecting and ingesting all the remaining Mountain Dew in America.  May resort to violence if absolutely necessary, but only in the name of the Dew.

10. Stay overnight in the library, using only candles as sources of light.

11. Collect all the churro carts in the state, and then create an empire based on using churros as currency.  Short term goal: lots of yummy churros.  Long term goal: world dominance!

12. Actually manage to get everyone to agree that churros are a form of currency.

13. Eat cold beans out of a can with only a pocket knife and my grubby little fingers for utensils.  (Every good apocalypse needs a scene like this, yes?)

14. Four words: city wide blanket fort.

15. Shoot some zombies.

16. If no zombies, use an abandoned lab to create some.  Then shoot them.

17. Loot a helicopter, fly to NYC.  Then take a mummy from the Met.  Because that is a WAY better souvenir than a snow globe.

18. Let all the animals lose from the zoo.  We’re gonna need a game supply from somewhere.

19. Keep one of each of the following animals from the zoo: monkey, dolphin, kinkajou.

20. Watch the sunset/sunrise from the top of the tallest building in Denver.

21. Stalk and kill an elephant. Then eat it.  All. 

22.  Ditto above, but with a whale.

23. Scuba dive in the aquarium.

24. Introduce new line of post-apocalyptic clothes, REI meets street urchin from a Dickens novel.  Slogan: Classy yet comfortable, for the discerning survivor.

25. Gather up a bunch of friends and spend some time living in abandoned rides at Disneyland.  With a group rule that everyone must dress/act to match the atmosphere of whichever ride they’re living in.  (Cuz…you know…to preserve the original artistic integrity of Disney and all.)  I think I would alternate living in the Star Wars ride and the Matterhorn.

A Slight Oversight...

I feel like Tosh.0 failed to mention the danger of two people simultaneously deciding to surprise each other with a 'trust fall'.  Boo.

Love :)

Yet another link to an awesome article:

Gotta be smarter than the fox, dude...

"Frozen Body ID'd as Homeless Man"

This is the title of a ksl.com article that caught my eye.

...I sincerely feel that "homeless man" should not qualify as a positive identification.   Just kidding, the article goes on to show they really *did* ID him for reals, though, so YAY!  Although not, of course, as yay for him. 

:(

(↑ Link to article)

Zombie vs Shark (or What I Learned Today in Grad School)

I am no longer allowed to watch Demetri Martin as I get ready for school in the mornings.  Because THIS is what my notes look like (although, in my defense, I already knew mostly everything in the lecture):

Note the actual learning that occurs on the last four lines of this paper.  That's dedication, right there...

P.S.  There are two more pages of Zombie vs __________ scenarios.  But I'm not sure how much of my annoying zombie obsession (normal) people can take at one time.

Consider Yourself Post-Warned

For your edification, you should probably not watch G.I. Jane for the first time and then read hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com for like three hours straight and then try to go to bed.  Because, sadly, no matter how tired your body is, your brain will be all, "Ahhhhh!  Women's rights!  I am a bad-ass!  I am a *funny* bad-ass!"  And no matter how hard you try to think about other things (ie, zombies, chocolate, courting patterns of early hominids), you will not be able to force your brain from its frantic feminist observational humor track (I feel like there should be a comma somewhere in that last bit, but I can't figure out where to put it, so nevermind). 

The same thing (unfortunately) happens when I listen to Pink.  Somehow, the simple fact that I am a) female and b) currently listening to a song about independence makes me feel like a total rock star, despite the fact that dancing horrifies me more than the demon mutant spawn of a dragon that has been raped by a gigantic spider-scorpion.  Yep.  That much.

There is no point to this post.  In fact, if I wasn't so lazy I would go back up to the top and write a disclaimer telling my reader((s) maybe?) not to waste their time with this one.  That's prolly not going to happen, though.  So I'll just put my disclaimer here:

This is one of my more pointless posts.

Consider yourself post-warned.

:)

After a pretty heated debate regarding the use of cultural anthropology as a valid strategy of a particular video game that Joey has been playing lately which, in retrospect, I don't even play...

Me: "...so, in other news, I sort of watched like four episodes of Bones today..."

Joey: "I noticed."  :(

Yeah, he actually made an emoticon-frowny-face face.  Okay, that part is a lie.  The point is, I need to learn how to hide my time wasting guilty habits better.  :) 

(I really did just smile like that, though.)